This is the story of the finest piece of audio equipment ever: the ghetto cabinet.
Its end was ignominious, it was lovingly created by me (below) then given to Chris then given to Dan who subsequently took it to Austin, where during some random gig, it blew up and caught on fire:
I had limited funds (of course) and limited time/interest (check).
I needed something a little lighter than my regular rig so I thought I'd build one using zero-cost materials and just a few hours.
So I went to a music store and measured some Peavey 1x15 bass cabinet. "Ho hum, don't mind me, just measuring your shitty music gear with a yardstick..."
Took the measurements to a lumber yard and had them cut up a piece of 4x8 plywood (might've been two pieces, who can remember). Bought some drywall screws.
Went home, and using an electric saw, cut out a speaker hole and a vent in one of the big sheets...power screwdriver and drywall screws did the rest. Totally unfinished, splintery, knotty crappy pine. I had an old Jensen 15" speaker that wasn't doing anything, so I drywall-screwed that into the big gaping hole I cut earlier. I slapped some local radio station bumper stickers on there for effect, and found some crappy cabinet handles. More drywall screws.
One thing I forgot though, was how to wire up the electronics!
I didn't have anything else, so I cut a hole in the back, and took a metal folger's coffee can lid (the remnants of what gets cut out when you open one of those--a jaggedy metal circle with sharp edges) and nailed that into the back. Punched out a hole using a hammer & nail, and then mounted the input jack onto that.
The best part: The tone. If you ever wanted to hear a bass guitar sound like a tuba, this was it. It was the most "round" thing imaginable, the big resonant cabinet booming away...I can close my eyes and still hear the rattling fold-away handles on the sides chattering along with my basslines. Since there was no internal sound deadening, the entire box resonated, pulsed, and breathed with a life of its own! Better still, I could put it in the back seat of my 1987 Dodge Colt, no problem. Up and down the stairs of the ghetto Denton apartments--CHECK!
BUT ALAS, like the now-sunken USS Titanic, there was a design flaw: the electronics.
I had wired the speaker to the 1/4" input jack (which, as you remember, was tenuously mounted on a metal coffee can lid) with what I had--an automotive wiring kit, with the crimp-on connectors. I'm still waiting for the forensic report from Austin, but scientists believe an electrical short in that mess somehow caused unintentional ignition during a 6th street gig in Austin.
END OF LIFE
I took the amp to play a gig at Joe's Generic on 6th Street in Austin. I was playing bass with the Sexy Finger Champs, a crazy fun power pop bubblegum band. I was playing the amp with a hollowbody bass and a huge 800 watt head, and had it cranked. The band was solid and playing to a full house. Midway through the set, the amp started making a strange crackling sound, but I pushed on until the sound finally fizzled out during a hot number . A stinky, cheez-smelling column of smoke started pouring out the front of the cabinet as the old Jensen finally incinerated. I had set the damn thing on fire.
I played it up and the crowd ate it up. Thankfully, the bass player for the headlining PocketFishRmen came to my aid and hauled his amp up on the stage so I could finish the set. The cabinet died a second and final death in the alley behind the club that night.
